of
it. TIM HEALY, radiant with this rare and rosy reflection of the good old
times, observes it is "an excellent hour of the evening to begin fresh
work."

More hubbub; House divides, showing Government in possession of majority of
80. Renewed tumult when they come back from the Lobby. JESSE COLLINGS
rising, with intent to implore House to remember its dignity, is met with
such swift, sudden, rampant roar of "Rat! Rat!" that after ineffectual
contest, he subsides. Another Division; Government majority gone up one.
Fresh Motion made for Adjournment; Members tightening their belts for
all-night sitting, when SQUIRE OF MALWOOD unexpectedly gives in. "Go on! go
on!" excited Liberals cry.

"No," said the dignified Old Roman, throwing an imaginary toga over
substantial shoulder. "No? they have done enough to make their position
clear before the country. Let them go to bed." So at 2:20 A.M. they went.

_Business done._--Blowing great guns.

_Friday Night._--A flash in the pan at the opening of the Sitting, when
PRINCE ARTHUR, meaning to smite at the unoffending figure of the SQUIRE OF
MALWOOD, hit Mr. G. He explained, and apologised; thereafter, a long, dull
night.

DAVITT took his seat, amid loud cheers from both sides. A curious episode
in his history, honourable both to him and House. A real good man DAVITT,
with all the modesty of sterling merit. Still, inclined to be
argumentative. Had scarcely taken his seat, when he came up to me, and
said, "It's very well for you, _Toby_, to be M.P. for Barks; but I'm M.P.
for Tenpence. Yes, that's the precise sum it cost me to win my seat."

New Members come, and old ones depart. Everybody sorry to hear of the death
of LOUIS JENNINGS, a fine-natured, high-souled man, of brilliant intellect
and wide culture. In later Sessions has been handicapped by the cruel
illness that carried him off whilst in his prime. But he made his mark at
Westminster as he had done in New York, India, and Printing House Square.

_Business done._--Still talking round Address.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE NEW DOCTOR.

"THE _HIDEAR_ OF A YOUNG MAN LIKE THAT A-TELLING O' _ME_ 'OW POOR PEOPLE'S
CHILDREN HOUGHTER BE FED AND LOOKED AFTER! WHY, I'VE BURIED FOURTEEN O' MY
_OWN_!"]

* * * * *

THE LEGAL INFANT'S GUIDE TO KNOWLEDGE.

CONCERNING THE STOCK EXCHANGE.

_Question._ What is the Stock Exchange?

_Answer._ The best English substitute for Monte Carlo.

_Q._ Has it any rivals?

_A._ Certainly; the Turf and the Card-room.

_Q._ In your opinion, is the Stock Exchange preferable to the alternatives
you have mentioned?

_A._ It is, as it is more business-like, and consequently more respectable.

_Q._ Has politics anything to do with speculation at Capel Court?

_A._ To a certain extent; but a good unscrupulous untruth is better than
the tottering of kingdoms.

_Q._ Is the dissemination of false news permissible?

_A._ Only by operators for the rise or fall.

_Q._ What is a flutter?

_A._ The performance of a financial operation with the assistance of a
tossed-up halfpenny.

_Q._ When is it advisable to indulge in a flutter?

_A._ At the moment when your credit is greater than your balance at the
Banker's.

_Q._ What is a balance?

_A._ An unknown quantity--to the impecunious.

_Q._ Is it necessary for the impecunious to suffer want?

_A._ Not if the lack of funds is concealed from the tradespeople.

_Q._ Ought not a (legal) infant to pay his debts?

_A._ Only at the instigation of a County-Court Judge, or if they happen to
be debts of honour.

_Q._ What is a debt of honour?

_A._ Usually the outcome of a discreditable transaction.

_Q._ Is the nonpayment of a tradesman dishonourable?

_A._ No, for such a payment is not a "necessary." Payment only becomes a
"necessary" when you bet with a man of your own order.

_Q._ Is it possible to do without money?

_A._