individuality which ought to characterise him.--_Daily Paper._"]

Oh, gaily did we hasten to the London Institution,
Expecting some amusement in our inartistic way,
And little did we reckon on the awful retribution
Which Mr. HENRY BLACKBURN had in store for us that day.

We'd fondly looked towards him for an eulogistic blessing,
But got instead a general and comprehensive curse,
We are, as he informed us, with an emphasis distressing,
By nature inartistic, and are daily getting worse.

Thereafter he directed magisterial attention
Upon the hapless authors who a fleeting fame had got;
He drew no nice distinctions, nor selected some for mention,
But, with superb simplicity, he just condemned the lot.

Every man of them is sinning with an ignorance persistent,
Poet, novelist and critic, or whatever be their sphere,
Their "individuality" is almost non-existent,
And only on occasions, if at all, are they "sincere."

Well, what, then, is the remedy? Will Mr. BLACKBURN fix it?
Must all our fiction travel from the cultured Continent?
Or dares we snap our fingers at this haughty _ipse dixit_,
And read our inartistic books in very great content?

* * * * *

MR. PERKS, M.P., has undertaken to bring in a Bill for "the Abolition of
Registrars at Nonconformist Marriages." If successful, the Ministers will
lose their "Perks."

* * * * *

LUSUS NATURЖ.

In the _Field's_ Dog-for-sale column, there recently appeared, wedged in
between descriptions of vendible Beagles and Bloodhound Pups, the following
remarkable advertisement:--

BLOODHOUND, 40-Tonner, for SALE; built by Fife of Fairlie; has all
lead ballast, and very complete inventory.--For price, which is
moderate, and particulars, apply, &c.

Most interesting canine specimen this. The Managers of the Zoological
Gardens should at once apply, if by this time they have not already done
so, and secured the "Forty-tonner Bloodhound," with complete inventory,
"built by FIFE of Fairlie."

* * * * *

Nursery-Rhyme for the Neo-Crinolinists.

GIRLS and Matrons, who wins the day,
Now WINTER and JEUNE have had their say?
Come with a hoop to concert or ball,
Come with balloon-skirts, or come not at all!

* * * * *

A Candid Friend.

SCENE--_Brown's Study--the well-known "Brown's Study," of course._
BROWN _is reading the fortieth chapter of his three-volume
Autobiography to_ JONES.

_Brown_ (_pausing in his gigantic work_). Well, tell me, honestly, have you
any fault to find with it?

_Jones._ Well--hum!--_it wants finish_.

[_Looks at his watch, rises hurriedly, and exits quickly._

* * * * *

Why, on an Illustrated Paper, should the position of the reproducer of
Artists' black-and-white work be a higher one than that of the Artists
themselves? Because he undertakes "Graver" responsibilities.

* * * * *

BURIDAN'S ASS.

(_Modern Agricultural Version._)

[Illustration]

[BURIDAN is said to have been the inventor of the dilemma of the ass
between two absolutely equal bundles of hay, he maintaining that the
ass's choice must be so equally balanced that he would starve, there
being no motive for preference.]

Long-patient Issachar, o'erladen muncher
Of heaps of "vacant chaff well-meant for grain,"
If, like the pious spouse of _Jerry Cruncher_,
You "flop," and, camel-wise, won't rise again
To bear big burdens that strength staggers under,
On fodder most inadequate, what wonder?

To wallop a poor "donkey wot won't go,"
The good old song suggests is cruel folly.
Give him some fragrant hay, _then_ cry "Gee-woa!"
The lyrist hints, in diction quaintly jolly.
From starving moke